Maybe This Isn’t Just My Prayer | Letter to La Familia

Estimada Familia,

I wanted to write you a letter… and then I didn’t. And then I tried again… and still didn’t know what to say. So here I am. Not polished (ok just a little edits here and there). Not planned. Just real. Con Humildad y Amor I write this letter from my alter to yours, Familia. I am tired....better yet...I am fucking exhausted. And I know many of you are too! Not just physically tired… but the kind of tired that sits in your spirit. The kind that makes you look around at the world and think, what the actual fuck is happening right now? There are moments lately where I feel so lost, so confused, so overwhelmed, like I don’t even know what I’m supposed to say or do. And when I get to that place… which I do often lol… I do what I’ve always done. I write a letter to my Higher Power. And then I burn it to release it. But this time… I’m not burning it.

Con humildad y amor.

This time, I’m sharing it with you. Because maybe this isn’t just my prayer. Maybe it’s ours.

Trigger warning…

Being a woman is hard as fuck. And in my humble opinion... being a bruja is even harder. We feel life differently. We see life deeper. We experience life in extremes. And right now… I am feeling, seeing, and experiencing everything as a mujer, a bruja, AND a mom....damn!

I’m raising a vivacious 6-year-old brujita who is basically my mirror, and that alone will humble anyone real quick lol. Because I don’t just see her… I feel what the world is expecting from her. I see what society is trying to shape her into. And I am experiencing my own challenges as I parent with the intention of breaking the generational trauma passed down to me as a mujer. And I ask myself… how do I do better? How do I raise her differently?

And the honest answer is… I don’t really know.

So I go back to what I do know. If I want to see change in the world… I have to be the change. Not by fixing everyone. Not by carrying everything. But by doing the work within myself. By breaking my own cycles. Daily. Messily. Imperfectly. And lately… it’s been very, very exhausting.

Especially as so much has been sitting heavy on my heart. The weight that women carry internally. The things we don’t say. The secrets we hold. The ones we keep for survival, for protection, for the “greater good.” And some of those secrets… they break us quietly. They live in our bodies. They shape how we love, how we trust, how we show up in the world.

When I read Dolores Huerta’s statement about her own secret she held for 60 years… it broke my heart… and at the same time, renewed the fire in me. Because the truth is this… as women, as brujas, as moms… we are not alone. You are not alone. We all carry something. Some secrets are heavy. Some are small. Some we’ve made peace with. Some we wish we could rewrite completely. But all of them… are part of being human and part of our story.

What I want to build… what I am building with Love Your Now Comadre… is a space where our stories don't make us smaller. A space where our truth is not something to hide… but something to hold with care.

I’m not here to tell you to expose your secrets. I’m here to tell you… you don’t have to carry them alone.

Familia, my prayer is not for me to change the world for you, or my daughter or other women. My prayer is for the strength and courage to light my path so bright… that you can see your own. And together… we walk each other home.

Being a woman… being a bruja… being a mom... means we need each other. To hold one another. To witness each other. To remind each other who we are when we forget. To empower each other with love and respect. To do life together rather than apart or in competition.

Your secrets do not define you. Your past does not disqualify you. Your truth is not too much.

You are worthy. 

You are loved. 

You are… YOU.

And I love YOU, Familia.

I am sending you so much Fire & Butterflies. And as always… don’t forget to Love Your Now!

Loving My Now, 

Comadre Cristal Baez-Arellano

Spiritual Mentor/Bruja Coach

PS— If this letter stirred something in you and you don’t want to hold it alone… I’m here. cristal@lyncomadre.com